BDSMers: “are people doing what they like, occupying positions they consider satisfactory”…
Artemis, who is an advertiser and BDSM consultant, explains that what differentiates abuse from domination is the motivation of both. “Dominators, when exercising power over their possessions, never do so with selfish motives. The submissive serve the owner with regard to daily and most immediate needs; while the dominator guides, care for and guards. Abusive people tend to belittle and diminish their partners for selfish motivations. People who take BDSM as a lifestyle tend to be very honest about what they like, what they do, and how they do it. It’s just two or more people doing what they like and occupying positions they consider satisfactory.”…
vertical relationships “When in a relationship, how do you refer to your girlfriend?” I ask Artemis about the dynamics of BDSM relationships among lesbian women. “To answer, I think it would be nice to define marriage and dating. When I think about these two, I imagine horizontal relationships, where both exercise their freedom to come and go in all aspects, and there is no transfer of power regarding the relationship as a whole (Outside the bedroom, so to speak.) But if here you’re talking about involving feeling and living together, ok…
BDSMers do that. Falling in love and wanting to get closer is something that can hit anyone. But in the dynamic between dominants and submissives…I have been submissive since I joined the community. Traits that shape my personality make me have a fetish for power. I love serving, serving, listening, helping, and whenever I have the opportunity to put myself in an erotic position of humility, I am I put it on because I love feeling the power of the other person, the haughtiness, the intelligence, the determination”, he delivers. “BDSM relationships go through some very practical steps” “People know each other and feel attracted, as in any relationship. When they decide to have something more serious, even if it’s a single session, they enter a stage we call ‘negotiation'”, reveals Patrícia. “During the negotiation, people…
10 fun facts about sadomasochism
Sadomasochism is not considered a disease, as long as the practice is not a precondition for sexual satisfaction
sadomasochism is a relationship based on pleasure for pain. The word is divided into two: sadism (one who takes pleasure in giving pain) and masochism (one who takes pleasure in feeling pain). This sexual fetish does not always – and, in fact, most of the time – has no sex involved, only the dominator-dominated relationship.
Sadomasochism is not considered a disease, as long as the practice is not a pre-condition for sexual satisfaction, it is not the main personal stimulus for the couple, nor that it causes aggression, trauma, and even death.
According to the blog Casal Sem Shame, there are three very important tips for couples who want to start sadomasochism: set a password, which will be used to stop whatever they are doing; that one of the partners is blindfolded; and play (carefully!) with fire, like hot wax.
UOL listed ten curiosities about sadomasochism, essential for those who want to know more about the subject and start getting started. Check out:
1. In the world of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) there are very well-defined rules, such as the use of the password, which must be strictly followed, as the objective is not to make anyone feel inferior. With its own rules and codes, everything is done in a consensual way.
2. BDSM practitioners make a prior contract (yes, from past paper). The contracts strengthen the SSC (São, Seguro, and Consensual) bases and already define which games will be played, the limits, the clothes, what is allowed and what is not, and even details such as the day and time of the practices.
3. The main purpose of BDSM is to give and feel pleasure through pain, and this does not necessarily include sex, which only happens in a consenting way. When it happens, it usually works in a fantasy context.
4. The safety word is ESSENTIAL and MANDATORY in BDSM relationships. They serve to signal levels of pain or discomfort and even whether everything should be finished or not. In BDSM rules, the dominator must immediately stop whatever he is doing if the dominator says the predetermined word. 5. In real life, BDSM practitioners are quite different. Experts even say that it is very common for powerful executives to assume submissive roles during erotic games.
6. Domination does not always imply pain. Sometimes, domination is simply domination, and the dominated wants to feel psychologically submissive, without this involving pain. Also according to UOL, “a submissive person does not live only from spankings and whippings”.
7. Some BDSM practitioners may adopt the practice 24/7, ie: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This does not mean full-time whipping, but that one partner will play a submissive role for a pre-determined time.
8. It’s not just a cliché: leather is the material of choice for practical BDSM fantasies, for all the meaning the material has. The underdogs usually wear capes or dresses, long boots, high-heeled shoes, and the underdogs only wear swim trunks or grommets and walk barefoot.
9. BDSM adherents know that the practice requires a lot of care and a lot of responsibility. Therefore, it is very important to get informed about it, through books, magazines, specialized sites, exchange of ideas in chats or live meetings. Everything for the practice to be healthy, healthy, and consensual. It is important to learn how not to leave visible marks, how to make knots possible to be untied in a few movements, not reaching regions considered prohibited, such as the back of the neck, head, and behind the knees.
10. When the practice is carried out with unknown people, it is important to remain anonymous and, therefore, code names are essential. It also works to help the dominant and the underdog get into the mood.